Imagine strolling through a tech company’s campus, spotting a software engineer, and deciding to approach them. You walk up with confidence and say:
“Hi, I’m a Computer Science senior at University X, and I’d love to work at your company. Here’s my resume—could you review it and refer me for any relevant jobs?“
What just happened? Let’s break it down.
You’ve essentially asked a complete stranger to do three things at once:
- Review your resume: this is very time consuming and not trivial.
- Browse job postings on your behalf: something they definitely weren’t planning to do today.
- Put their name on the line to refer you: a decision that carries risk for them.
That’s a big ask, especially from someone who’s never met you before. While referrals can be a great way to get noticed, there’s a better way to approach them—one that increases your chances of getting a response and makes the process easier for the person you’re asking. Let’s talk about how to do it right.
Software Engineers Are Busy
Software engineers have packed schedules: meetings, code reviews, debugging, and actual coding (when they’re lucky). If you’re asking for a referral, your goal should be to make it as easy as possible for them. That starts with doing your homework.
Do Your Homework
Have Your Resume Ready
Before reaching out, make sure your resume is polished. Tap into your network by asking friends to proofread, visit your college career center, and attend career fairs where recruiters can offer feedback. The more polished your resume is beforehand, the less effort you’re asking from a potential referrer.
That said, if you do need specific resume feedback, ask for it separately and well in advance. Don’t bundle it into your referral request. It’s easier for someone to help when they’re just handling one thing at a time.
Review The Careers Page Yourself
Almost every company has a careers page, and unless you’re targeting a tiny startup without one, there’s no reason to ask someone else to check job openings for you. That’s your responsibility.
Before reaching out, take the time to review the company’s job listings. Know which roles interest you, and have the job titles and links ready. This not only makes your request more professional but also shows that you’re serious and prepared — both of which make it easier for someone to help you.
Make It Easy for Them to Say Yes
It’s not just about saving them time because you’re also asking them to put their reputation on the line. A referral is a vote of confidence, and the more prepared you are, the less they’ll second-guess their decision.
Give them a solid reason to refer you. Keep your request clear, concise, and professional. The easier you make it for them, the more likely they are to say yes.
If You’ve Done Your Homework
Now that you’ve put in the effort, you can craft a much better referral request:
- Clear.
- Respectful.
- Easy to act on.
Plus, you’ll give them an easy out if they’re not comfortable referring you. Here’s a simple example:
“Hi, I’m a Computer Science senior at University X, and I’d love to work at [Company Name]. I’m particularly interested in [Job Title] because it aligns with my skills and interests. If you’re comfortable, I’d really appreciate a referral. If not, no worries. I completely understand.
I’ve attached my resume for reference. Thanks for your time!“
This kind of cold outreach will work in many cases, but there’s still room to improve. Which brings to my bonus tip:
Stay Curious
The best way to grow your network and land referrals is by staying genuinely curious. As software engineers, many of us are introverted, but curiosity is in our nature. Use it to your advantage.
If the person you’re reaching out to shares posts about their work, engage with their content. Ask thoughtful questions. Show genuine interest. If you met them at a conference or networking event, you wouldn’t just blurt out, “Can you refer me?”. You’d naturally ask about their projects, their experience, tech stack they are working with, and what it’s like working at their company.
By staying curious and building real connections, referrals can happen organically. What if the person you engaged with on LinkedIn happens to be hiring? What if they see your curiosity and expertise as the perfect match for their team? Sometimes, the best opportunities come not from asking directly, but from showing up, engaging, and letting your work speak for itself.
